Skip to main content

We thought up 17 new fragrances that are just as ridiculous as Xbox body wash

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Microsoft recently announced the creation of Lynx Xbox, a range of grooming products inspired by the smell of the gaming console. Lynx is part of Unilever, which also makes Axe. The Xbox line will come in body spray, deodorant, and shower gel. “Lynx Xbox is a fresh scent of pulsing green citrus, featuring top notes of kaffir lime and winter lemon, aromatic herbal middle notes of mint and sage, and woody bottom notes of patchouli and clearwood,” according to Gamespot.

That’s not at all what any Xbox smells like (it’s not clear if anything on earth smells like “pulsing green citrus”), but the electric-green body products are sure to appeal to some middle-schoolers and others in the Axe demographic — though they’ll only be available in Australia and New Zealand, starting in July.

It’s such a strange marketing idea, that we thought more tech companies should start making perfumes, body wash, and other items that smell like their products. Who wouldn’t want an eau d’iPhone candle?  

iPhone

A fresh linen scent that could be captured at a fraction of the cost, but it’s $100.

Google Glass

A mix of paranoia and broken dreams.

Furby

Contact lens solution and Mogwai.

Tesla

Money doused in rocket fuel.

Netflix

Popcorn and couch cushions.

Blockbuster

This scent has been discontinued.

Steam

Mountain Dew Code Red.

YouTube comments

A dumpster fire.

Red Dead Redemption

Whiskey plus cigar smoke.

Fitbit

The minivan in between Crossfit and soccer practice.

Kindle

Grandma’s house, an intoxicating melange of fresh-baked cookies and mothballs.

Wikipedia

Leather-bound books that had all their pages replaced with North Face photos. 

Instagram

Pumpkin spice and coconut self-tanner.

HBO Now

Sandalwood and diamonds; you only buy it for special occasions.

Facebook

Russian vodka, your high-school crush, and the scent of being followed.  

Spotify

Smells like Teen Spirit, Summer Breeze, wine and cheap perfume.

Uber

Puke, hot wings, cake batter, a stable of horses, Home Depot, shave gel, mustard and diapers, or the inside of a jelly bean; you never know which you’re going to get!

Drew Prindle, Parker Hall, Rick Marshall, Dan Baker, Joshua Benton, and Brandon Widder contributed to this article.

Editors' Recommendations

Jenny McGrath
Former Digital Trends Contributor
Jenny McGrath is a senior writer at Digital Trends covering the intersection of tech and the arts and the environment. Before…
Every blockbuster reveal from the Xbox leak: new consoles, Bethesda games, and more
Xbox's logo used during the Extended Games Showcase

Unredacted documents submitted and made publicly available to view as part of the ongoing Microsoft vs. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) trial just led to what may be the biggest leak in video game history.
A flood of files have revealed deep secrets about Xbox's upcoming plans for the bulk of the decade, giving us unprecedented insight into what's on the horizon for the gaming giant. That includes information on upcoming hardware refreshes, next-gen consoles, and unannounced Bethesda titles, as well as a further peek into Microsoft's acquisition ambitions. It's a lot to trudge through, so we've rounded up five key revelations that you'll want to know.
A new Xbox Series X model is coming next year
https://twitter.com/stephentotilo/status/1704121068519133313
The most shocking thing to leak as part of the trial is a new Xbox Series X model. Referred to as "Brooklin -- Xbox Series X Refresh" in the leaked documents, this is a diskless, cylindrical version of the Xbox Series X with 2TB of internal storage, a USB-C port, and smaller technical improvements to the system's Wi-Fi, PSU, standby mode, and more. An upgraded Xbox Series S code-named Ellewood may also be in the works and released before Brooklin.
If Microsoft still follows the plan laid out in this "Roadmap to 2030" document created in May 2022, it would release Brooklin in late October 2024 for $500. If Microsoft still plans to release Brooklin next year, it does contradict recent statements from Xbox chief Phil Spencer, who acted bearish on the idea of a mid-gen refresh in Gamescom interviews. It's possible Microsoft's plans have changed since these leaked documents were made, but if not, we now know what to expect in terms of Microsoft's console refreshes.
A new Xbox controller is in the works
https://twitter.com/charlieINTEL/status/1704088621475598345
Throughout that Brooklin leak, a new version of the Xbox Series X controller is also teased. The Xbox Series X controller is great, but lacks the unique features of controllers like the DualSense or Joy-Cons, so it makes sense Microsoft would want to change that. Referred to as "Sebile -- The New Xbox Controller," this controller can seamlessly pair and connect to the cloud.
It also will feature haptic feedback, an accelerometer gyro, quieter buttons, modular thumbsticks, a rechargeable and swappable battery, and the ability to wake just by being picked up. The same road map that lists Brooklin and Ellewood's release windows says the Sebile controller will launch sometime in late May 2024 for $70.
First details on Microsoft's next-gen console leak
https://twitter.com/AR12Gaming/status/1704102055206322389
It's hard to believe we're almost already three years into this console generation and that Microsoft is planning for its next major console release, but that is the case. Unfortunately for Microsoft, its current technical ambitions for the platform were included in this leak. A leaked document states that Microsoft's ultimate goal is to "develop a next-generation hybrid game platform capable of leveraging the combined power of the client and cloud to deliver deeper immersion and entirely new classes of game experiences." 
In practice, a list of technical improvements lays out that we can expect an ARM64 CPU that balances big and little cores, a GPU co-designed with AMD, and an NPU that balances "the desire for flexible, programmable ML silicon versus high-performance silicon for targeted workloads," as well as support for better ray tracing, global illumination, micropolygon rendering, and an ML-based Super Resolution. Microsoft also mentions a "thin OS" meant for cheaper consumer and handled devices, likely to play games via the cloud.
This next-gen console is currently slated for a 2028 launch.
Several upcoming Bethesda games leak

Enough about hardware -- several upcoming Bethesda games also leaked. A document from 2020 outlining Bethesda's game road map through fiscal year 2024 includes some games we don't know about. Alongside games we know of like MachineGames' Indiana Jones project, the list also includes several code-named projects, remasters of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and Fallout 3, a GhostWire: Tokyo sequel, Doom Year Zero, and Dishonored 3.
Another document also confirmed that The Elder Scrolls VI won't launch until at least 2026. Some of these games have missed the release windows listed in the documents, so it's very possible that these dates are no longer accurate and that some may not be released at all. Still, it lays out a clear picture of what was in development at Bethesda just a few years ago and provides insight into the lineup that enticed Microsoft to purchase Bethesda in the first place. 
Microsoft considered acquiring Nintendo and Warner Bros. Interactive
https://twitter.com/tomwarren/status/1704021807341203802
A leaked email from 2020 gives some insight into Spencer's acquisition ambitions at that point. Namely, it sounds like he'd love to acquire Nintendo as it would be a "career moment" for him.
"I totally agree that Nintendo is THE prime asset for us in gaming, and today gaming is a most likely path to consumer relevance," he wrote. "I've had numerous conversations with the LT of Nintendo about tighter collaboration and feel like if any U.S. company would have a chance with Nintendo, we are probably in the best position ... At some point, getting Nintendo would be a career moment and I honestly believe a good move for both companies."
Ultimately, Spencer didn't want to do a hostile takeover of Nintendo, so he settled for playing the "long game" when it came to acquiring it. This same email also reveals that Microsoft was interested in acquiring Warner Bros. Interactive around the same time as Bethesda, although the lack of any WB IP ownership was its undoing, Spencer is also as intrigued about acquiring Valve as it was Nintendo.
It's worth noting that this email is from over three years ago, and these acquisition ambitions might have been quelled following changing economic conditions and the rocky and expensive process of acquiring Activision Blizzard. 

Read more
A new Enforcement Strike System will punish toxic Xbox players
Xbox Series S placed on a white table with the controller just in front of it

Harassment is unfortunately all too common in the online gaming space, but Microsoft has introduced a new "Enforcement Strike System" on Xbox today to combat player toxicity.
This new strike system, which Dave McCarthy, vice president of player services, detailed in a new Xbox Wire post, is meant to give players a clearer picture of what violations are being enforced by Xbox and give more severe punishments for the worst actions. "The strike system is designed to further empower players to engage positively and appropriately on Xbox and with the community," McCarthy explains.
After a report against a player is reviewed by the Xbox Safety Team, that team can assign a number of strikes to the account accused of a violation. Things like using profanity or cheating add one strike, while something like hate speech warrants three strikes. While users can appeal strikes and get them removed, those that stick come with suspension-related punishments that will block those Xbox features like messaging and joining party chats. The graphic below details what you need to know about the system.

Getting one or two strikes will suspend your account for just one day, but things get worse the more strikes an account gets. If some account manages to get eight strikes, they will be banned from all online activity for over a year, and all strikes will stay on the player's record for at least six months. 
All accounts start with zero strikes beginning today, so make sure you watch your online behavior on Xbox going forward. You are able to see any active enforcements on your Xbox account on the Xbox Support website.

Read more
Xbox has new Ninja Turtles controllers … and they smell like pizza
Players use Ninja Turtles themed Xbox controllers.

Microsoft and Paramount Pictures are giving away Xbox controllers based on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, which they are proudly proclaiming are "the world's first pizza-scented Xbox controllers."
This is not the first time Microsoft and Paramount created weird Xbox controllers to give away in a sweepstakes. Its fuzzy Sonic and Knuckles controllers released around Sonic the Hedgehog 2 also gained a lot of attention in February 2022. Still, there's never been an Xbox controller quite like this. Four controllers exist, which are an oozy green, have art of one of the turtles on it, and have the top of a pizza sticking out of the back. According to Microsoft, that is what is actually pizza-scented.

"Satisfy your hunger for kicking butt with the world’s first ever pizza-scented controller," Microsoft says in an Xbox Wire post about the controller. "Designed to deliver the smell of the Turtles’ beloved meal to your game time, these exclusive Xbox Wireless Controllers come with a built-in scent diffuser shaped like a slice of delicious New York ‘za." That's a pretty fancy way to say you've made a controller that smells weird and will continue to smell even weirder as time goes on. They don't even specify what kind of pizza it smells like!
To have a chance to nab one of these controllers, people need to follow Xbox Game Pass on Twitter (or X, as it's being rebranded to) and retweet (re-X?) a tweet (an X, I hate this) that the account will eventually post before August 13. What you do after you get one of these is on you.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem hits theaters on August 2. 

Read more