Like it or not, Apple’s annoyingly-named third-generation iPad hit stores today with the standard amount of fanfare from the tech pres. But for a lot of you out there, the release is nothing more than another high-ticket Apple gadget that you simply can’t afford. And while the updates to the new iPad – better camera, better battery, much better screen – are all noteworthy, the jealous skeptic in us feels as though they really aren’t that big of a deal. Not that we don’t want one, of course, just that, well, is it really something to get all lathered up about? Perhaps. If, however, you’re still feeling a bit irksome about the fact that you can’t join in the Retina-fueled fun, we suggest you watch this video, “The Gentleman’s Rant,” which skillfully (and hilariously) lays out just how ridiculous the whole Apple fever really is. Enjoy.